I'm still kinda smiling about the fact that yesterday every fan who watched it was just sitting there and sobbing because, he was SO damn honest there. Like 0% Idol, but just a person. A simple, wonderful person. And there is really nothing more beautiful watching him being so happy and cozy all the time.


I'm just kinda overwhelmed by this feeling, that even tho most of the time we all are jumping around happily, because he himself is such a happy person with SO much energy and SO much lust for living, there are always these moments, when you just sit there, listening to his stories, and remember what a shitty time he actually had. All the problems, all the worries. The time he even wanted to leave because everything was simply too much. (especially if you remember how YOUNG he actually was. Heck, I'm already 20 and I fail to deal with the simplest life problems, which aren't even worth to be mentioned)
It's such a crazy paradox that a person like him, who can be so damn confident on stage and every other time he has to be, had and most probably still has so many doubts about himself and the person he is.

It was such a heart breaking moment when everyone was talking about the story that years ago, when he was still a Junior someone told his Mom that most probably he will become one of the JE kids who will never achieve something and will be just...gone after a while. And this is SUCH a scary thought. Because we all kinda don't notice that stuff at all because either way most of us don't follow any other JE groups at all, or everyone just knows the groups which have debuted and ARE popular. But just imagine the amount of the guys who never achieved anything at all, because there are just SO many of them and the competition is simply too big. And you just can't stop wondering what would have happened if...and if...and if...if he was simply one of them.
I'm always just super optimistic when it comes to all this stuff, but I still know that showbiz is a really ugly thing sometimes.


And then this, please allow me to quote iside89 "I'm said I changed. Here if u don't change u can't cope w/ it.You can't fight" That just sounds...so depressing. And I'm just totally happy that even tho he changed he didn't...loose himself during the process? That he still managed to stay himself.
I really don't want to talk about depressing things here, but I just think that there is stuff we should never forget. And things which are so worth to be thought about.
And actually it's kinda fascinating, because every single person there has a story to tell. A story full of things which were important for their life paths and made them the persons they are now. And that's... good.


I already mentioned it on twitter yesterday, and I will say it every time I can: He is a beautiful person. And this is not about his pretty face or his outward appearance, but simply about his character and his inner world. He.is.amazing. And I will never stop to be just so damn proud to have the chance to be his fan and to love him.
And if I ever got a wish, I would simply love to say him 'thank you'. 'Thank you' for his hard work, 'thank you' for his happy smile, 'thank you' for his sheer existence and 'thank you' for the fact that he makes all of us happy. Every.single.day. I really hope he is aware of this.